In our pre-mortal life (the time we spent with God before we came here), we learned about trials and tribulations that could and would happen
while on Earth. How much each of us comprehended about this varied from person
to person, but we all understood that opposition would occur because we knew
that we would need a Savior with the power to redeem and heal us. An article in
the February 2015 New Era magazine states that “we
obtained gospel knowledge, testimony, and faith in the Savior and His
Atonement [all that Jesus went through, beginning with his suffering in Gethsemane and culminating in his resurrection, which enables redemption and healing]. These things became an important protection and strength in the war
in heaven.” Those of us who chose to follow
the Savior were able to not only learn, but continually practice good use of
our agency in the presence of the Father. The things we learn about the gospel
here on Earth are only extensions and reminders of what we learned with Him.
But Earth life away from the physical presence of the
Father isn’t always a nice long walk on the beach during sunset. President Gordon B. Hinckley said it best when he quoted Minister Jenkin Lloyd Jones, who said,
Anyone who imagines that
bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he
has been robbed. . . . Life is just like an old time rail journey…delays,
sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by
beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.
From this quote and our own life experiences, it’s clear
that opposition, trials, and tribulations are not just supposed to show up
every once in a while, but are to be a normal part of life. The scriptures and
Latter-day apostles can confirm this:
John 16:33—In the world ye shall have tribulation.
2 Nephi 2:11—It must
needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.
Finally, Elder Neal A. Maxwell reminded us that “If we
are serious about our discipleship, Jesus will eventually request each of us to
do those very things which are most difficult for us to do” (The Neal A. Maxwell Quote Book).
Anyone who has had to struggle to learn something knows the
importance of the struggle in really grasping the concept or lesson to be
learned. I would also say that most of us have learned (be it one time or over
and over again) that the choices we make in times of trial affect how we view
and respond to said trials.
This is important to remember because the trials we
experience are so different. Some are easier to navigate while others may seem
impossible at times. The how-to-overcome-our-trials process is never
cut-and-dry. There are many ways in which we can overcome our trials, and this
can greatly depend on how the trial came into our lives. While trials do come
in many different forms, I will separate their causes into three categories:
1.
Trials with causes that are out of our control,
2.
Trials that come due to a misuse of our agency (i.e. we made a bad decision), and
3.
Trials that come because someone else misused their agency and we felt the effects.
Trials with causes that are out of our control are things that just happen in life. These have a wide
range and can include anything from a natural disaster to a terminal illness or
a mass-layoff at a company. During these times, we may ask, “what did I do to
deserve this?” We want to believe with everything in us that there’s something
we can change in our lives to make it go away or never happen again. But that’s
just not the case. We cannot choose to make a storm go away; when a storm
comes, we can only choose what we do to keep ourselves safe until it is over.
This is where faith and the comforting power of the Atonement comes into
the picture.
And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from
his birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man,
or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man
sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in
him.
Through this account, we learn
that not all trials come because we need to repent. Sometimes, we experience
something hard so that the works of God can be made manifest in our lives. When
such trials come, we need to have faith to know that our actions (or inactions)
are not the root cause for whatever happened. When we are free from that guilt,
we can begin to see these trials in the way the Lord wants us to see them and
experience the power that comes from relying on the Savior’s Atonement for
strength and comfort.
On a more sensitive side, there
are trials that come because we chose to use our agency inappropriately.
Since we all likely have our own list of trials that came into our lives due to
our own personal bad choices, I don’t feel the need to give any examples. In
trials such as these, faith in and use of the repentance process is but the
first step to overcoming them; if we don’t change whatever we did wrong in the
first place, the trial will remain. It is also the main reason that this type
of trial is very difficult to overcome: The godly sorrow that leads to real and
lasting change is intense and deep; many people aren’t ready to go through that
process for some time after the onset of this type of trial. But when we become
willing to trade our pride for humility—when we are willing to look for what is
right instead of insisting that we are right—we can access the power of the
Atonement for lasting change and come closer to the Savior as a result.
Finally, some trials happen because we felt the effects
of someone else’s misuse of agency. These trials are also out of our
control, but they are definitely not the type that “just happens.” They
include, but are unfortunately not limited to: abuse of any kind, neglect,
drug/alcohol use and other types of addictions, extramarital affairs, chronic
laziness, and the list goes on. This type also begs the question: Why do bad
things happen to good people? Why do we have to suffer because of what someone
else did?
To understand this, we have to have a deeper comprehension
of the agency we fought for in our pre-mortal life. When we talk about agency,
we generally discuss the importance of our right to choose. Satan’s idea was to
intervene any time someone would have done something contrary to divine law. He
wanted to force us to live the Divine Plan his way. We didn’t like that idea
there and we don’t like it here, either. How many of us have had the experience
of becoming annoyed when someone offers unsolicited advice or tells us that our choice isn’t the best idea because they know better (regardless of
whether they actually do)? While never being willing to accept or seek out help
is a sure sign of pride, the desire to make our own choices and see them
through isn’t just stubbornness. In heaven, we wanted to be taught, we wanted
to learn, and we knew we would need guidance, but we ultimately wanted our
choices to be our own, without outside intervention. We went to war for that,
and we’re here because we won that war.
While we all know that, we have a hard time thinking about
it that way when someone uses that right to make bad, and sometimes, terrible
decisions that have a ripple effect on the righteous who don’t deserve such
unfair consequences. In these situations, we wonder why God didn’t just
intervene and stop the whole thing. We have many accounts of the Lord sending
angels to warn people and to show practitioners of evil that certain messengers
really were sent by Him, but he has never forcibly stopped someone from doing
what they had chosen to do. Laman and Lemuel could have continued beating, and
ultimately killing, their brothers outside Jerusalem after the angel departed;
the angel didn’t take their weapons. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego could
have been thrown into the furnace again, for God didn’t destroy it. While that
would have gone against all we fought for, there’s a little more to it than
that.
In fighting for the right to choose good over evil, we also
fought for the ability to be held accountable for our choices, which is one of
the reasons why a Savior was necessary. If our decisions aren’t forced—if they
are truly our own—we must be held accountable for them, be they good or bad.
Amulek learned this lesson in one of the most terrifying ways possible in Alma chapter 14 (in The Book of Mormon). In this portion of scripture, Alma and Amulek were forced to watch
women and children who believed in Christ be destroyed by fire. During this
awful scene, the following conversation ensued:
And when
Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire,
he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene?
Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which
is in us, and save them from the flames. But Alma said unto him: The Spirit
constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord
receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that . . .
the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their
hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may
be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them,
yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.
Alma
was a prophet. Amulek’s faith was strong enough to stop the horrific scene at
hand. Those who believed had sealed their testimonies of the Savior with their
blood. However, strong levels of faith and great knowledge of the Divine will
not change the misuse of someone else’s agency and accountability will not
always come to those who do wickedly in this life. So, what can those who
suffer from trials such as these do to find peace? What can they do to overcome
a trial that was so unfairly put upon them? They can access the Atonement, but
not to seek forgiveness, for repentance is not necessary in this situation.
They can use the Atonement to find the strength to forgive. Learning to forgive
is one of humanity’s most difficult lessons, perhaps because it is among the
few things that can give us the most power and strength to persevere in this
life; “Take my
yoke upon you,” Jesus said. “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” We
often think of this scripture in Matthew 11 [verses 29-30] as pertaining to
being forgiven, but it also gives us the power to forgive, to understand that
His judgments will be just and that, in the end, all will be handled the way it
should be. That level of trust in the Savior is one not often found in our
world today.
I would now like to address another trial caused by a
misuse of agency that is very common among even the most well-intentioned
person, but does great amounts of damage. It is well summarized in this quote:
Someone who drowns in
7 ft of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 20 ft of water. [We need
to] Stop comparing [trials], stop belittling your[s] or anyone else’s [trial]
because it wasn’t “as bad” as someone else’s. This isn’t a competition, we all
deserve support & recovery. -Casey Rose
I have yet to meet someone familiar with the primary (children's) song
book who doesn’t know at least one verse of I’m Trying to be Like Jesus (Click here to view the lyrics).
While we understand that the idea behind the song is that we should love as he
did and be an example, as he was, there are times when we try to judge
as we think He will and make examples of others. Christ did not atone so
that we could decide that the trials given to someone else are nothing compared
to what we have been given. One of our preferred ways of doing this is to
belittle those both younger and older than us. Parents minimize the seemingly
insignificant trials of their children. Grown children of aging parents brush
off the realities of old age. The generations are constantly in a verbal war
over who had it financially worse, whose medical conditions are more
debilitating, or how the age of our mortal bodies should be a determining
factor in true intelligence and wisdom.
On a smaller scale, have you ever had an experience in
which you wanted to ask for help with something, but decided that you couldn’t
or even shouldn’t because you felt like your trial at that moment wasn’t worth
wasting someone else’s time? This comes from the unfortunate reality that
someone, at some point in your life, misused their agency to make you think
that some trials do not merit any type of attention or help. This is not true
and it never has been. The Atonement does not pick and choose which trials
deserve assistance, and neither should we.
In addition, have you ever experienced a trial in which you
knew you needed help, but instead of reaching out, you just prayed and hoped
that someone would randomly call you or show up at your door? I do not deny
that this has happened to me before and someone actually did call or show up.
However, those experiences are the exception, not the rule.
Throughout the
entire New Testament and even when Christ came to the Americas after his
resurrection, he taught us that Faith really is a principle of action. Every
recorded account of healing in the scriptures occurred when someone physically
sought the Savior out, be it for themselves or someone who could not come on
their own. Even in the case of the pool of Bethesda, the man who was healed was
incapable of seeking Jesus, but he was doing everything in his power to be
where he needed to be.
While Jesus is not physically on earth with us at this
time, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminded us in the October 2008 General Conference that we
really can be the ones from whom help is sought and given. He said,
When we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of
God, we are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil.
Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day . . . Indeed heaven never seems
closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion
of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word
that comes to mind.
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