Abortion isn't about rights. It's wrong.

Stop telling me that we need to figure out when an unborn child can really be considered a person.

Stop telling me that we need to decide when an unborn child has rights.

And absolutely stop telling me that that it's a woman's right to abort a baby solely because it's her body and she can do what she wants with it.

Here's what I see:

We're in serious debate over whether someone who's brain-dead is actually dead and whether or not we should just pull the plug on life support. One of the main reasons this debate is so controversial is because the patient's heart is still beating. As long as that heart beats, there's a chance--however unlikely--that the brain-dead patient may come back. When the heart stops, it doesn't matter how conscious the patient was: he/she's not coming back at all.

Someone in a brain-dead state is essentially a potato. They do nothing for months, even years on end, causing significant distress for their families who hope and pray with all their might that their loved one will come back. But they don't know if that will happen. There's so much uncertainty. For many of these families, the decision to give up hope becomes the only thing left to do; their loved one is showing no signs of progression back to consciousness.

Now, let's continue.

Between 18-22 days after fertilization, an unborn child's heart begins to beat. But that's not all. The time spent in the womb is the fastest developmental period of our entire lives. Who do you know outside of the womb that's naturally and normally grown 18-21 inches in nine months and developed an entire body to fit those 18-21 inches?

No one? That's what I thought.

In the womb, the baby gains health according to the food it ingests. It's brain development progresses, in part, according to the drugs and alcohol that either do or don't enter its system. It gets hiccups and reacts in response to external stimuli. It pees and poops, too.

In all that time, not once is the child a motionless potato. It's growing and developing at an unprecedented speed and as long as the mother takes basic precautions during her pregnancy, the chances are extremely high that the child will continue to develop outside the womb. Its awareness will only increase and grow stronger. It will get an education and a job, make big life decisions, develop talents, and, you know, live.

Yet people are trying to convince us that it's okay to stop that development and potential in its initial phases.

That's disgusting.

Women scream that they have the right to do what they want with their bodies. Sure ladies, you do. But you don't have the right to decide what to do with the body that's growing inside of you. That body is not your body and you do not get to decide to terminate it. Unless you were raped, you had the right to not engage in the act that caused the pregnancy. Even if you were on birth control when you had sex, there was still a chance that pregnancy could happen. If that's not something you were ready for, then you shouldn't have done it. You do not have the right to end a child's life because you were caught off guard.

But wait, I can't say that. I mean, the jury's still out on whether the fetus is actually a person with rights, right?

The biggest mistake humankind ever made was letting science and politics have a say in this issue. This is not a matter of science or politics. It's a matter of right and wrong (and no, not all right-and-wrong situations are relative to your personal viewpoint). As soon as you know someone's pregnant, you know she's going to give birth to a human being, another of your species. That knowledge alone makes the child a person and that should be enough to defend it with everything in us. Why do you think women need constant reassurance when they choose an abortion? Why do they have a hard time watching the screen as it all happens? Why do you think they struggle within themselves to even make that decision? Why do many women have to go to therapy afterward?

It's because somewhere within all of us is the knowledge that it's wrong. That's why. It's just wrong.

There is no logic to any argument that ending a newly developing human life is acceptable. It's completely irrational that we would be willing to deny a member of our own species the opportunity to do what we're hard-wired to do: To live.

Do as I'm doing! ...or not.

Let's be honest: Kids usually don't sit and focus for any long period of time. In our church's primary (the classes for the children), we have "wiggle songs." These are songs that involve a lot of movement with the goal of getting their "wiggles" out. One such song is called Do As I'm Doing. A child will choose a movement--clapping hands, jumping up and down, nodding your head, etc.-- and then the children will do that movement while singing the song. Hopefully, their wiggles are out by the time it's over. If not, someone chooses another movement and we sing it again.

This song greatly describes how children learn, that is, by imitation...by doing as we do.

On one hand, some of my greatest joys have come from seeing my daughter imitate something I did.

On the other hand, some of my greatest concerns have come from seeing my daughter imitate something I did.

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Children are certified experts in the subject of reality checks. You think you're doing okay, and then your child imitates something you just finished doing or saying and you're like "oops." What we teach them really is that big of a deal. They'll imitate you whether you want them to or not.

Not only do they imitate, but they love love love to ask "why?" and answering them with "because" doesn't cut it. Sure, we usually know what we want our children to learn from us, but we don't always think about the "why," do we?

So, I got to thinking: My children won't ask me "why?" about everything, but what are some of the reasons behind what I want them to know?

It's just a good thing to know

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I want my children to be ready to move out of the house by the time they're 18, whether or not they actually do so at that time. My job as a parent is not to do everything for them; to the contrary, it is to teach them how to be responsible adults, independent of me. That's one thing that I'm eternally grateful to my parents for doing: teaching me basic practical skills. I don't want my sons growing up believing that a female will always be around to cook their food. I don't want my daughters to have this subconscious idea that if her car gets a flat on the highway, a male will just magically be there to fix it. Some things are just good to know.



Tradition! Tradition! (Watch Fiddler on the Roof if that just went over your head. It's worth your while, I promise.)
A tradition is anything a family consciously chooses to do on a regular basis. That may be choosing to have dinner at the table every night or how you open presents on Christmas morning. Every family has traditions. Traditions are good! They give families something to look forward to, and consistency in childhood has been shown time and time again to be a preventing factor in tons of adulthood problems.


It will get you far in life
Why teach Grammar? Regardless of how great that resume looks, employers are not hiring people who write things like "b4" instead of "before" on their job applications. Knowing how to speak and write appropriately for the appropriate situation has gone from commonplace to a dying art; those who have it will get very far in whatever they choose to pursue.

Why teach Etiquette? Elbows off the table; napkin on your lap; cover your mouth when you sneeze; say "excuse me" when it's called for; when you ask for something, say "please"; when you get a compliment, say "thank you"; if someone thanks you for something, say "you're welcome"; watch your language; make eye contact when you talk to people; smile when you say "hi" to someone. Etiquette and manners may seem like a thing of the past, but when you look at the most respected people in the world, it's something they've got down to a science.

Why teach Hard Work? Laziness has been the main culprit for immense amounts of failure. Even studies have shown that generally speaking, children who grow up with the "work before play" mentality still know how to have tons of fun in adulthood. In fact, they have been shown to have more fun than those who play before work because they either (1) don't have any pressing things to do once their hangovers wear off or (2) have prioritized their projects so that they won't be behind on anything after the party. They can actually relax and more fully enjoy their down time.

Why teach them to Laugh at themselves? If you take yourself too seriously, you tend to take life too seriously. Knowing how to laugh at your own stupidity and clumsiness and move on is something more people need these days. It also helps you to remember that others aren't perfect, either.

On that note, I also want my children to understand the line between laughing at yourself and laughing at others; just because what Billy did may be funny to you doesn't mean he thinks it's funny.

Why teach good Dress and Grooming? No one expects you to be in your Sunday best when it's Saturday morning, but if you're expecting company, it's just respectful to make yourself look appropriate. The way you dress and groom yourself says a lot about your character and where your priorities lie. If you take this aspect of life seriously, your children will, too.

Why teach Tolerance and  Acceptance? Many loud people these days would have my children think that tolerance and acceptance are synonymous with agreement. This is not true. Genuine tolerance and acceptance comes when you can call someone a real friend without agreeing with everything he/she does and without getting into arguments about your differences.

Why teach Conflict resolution skills? Being the one who can keep a cool head and diffuse an otherwise tense situation will always have the ball in his/her court.


Religion
I am a person who tries my best to adhere to that which my religion teaches. If my children choose to follow the religion that I do, I want them to take it seriously as well. If following my religion to the best of my ability is important to me, chances are very high that it will be important to my children.

This also includes knowing why I follow the principles and policies taught in my religion. "So-and-so said we should do this" may be enough when my children are little, but won't cut it later on. The religion I follow teaches its members to be a question-asking people--if you don't know/understand why you're supposed to do something, you won't do it and neither will your children.

And last but not least:

What do you think? Why do you teach your children the things you do?

You know you're a parent when...

nerdywithchildren.com

1. you tell your child to go into time-out...and you really wish it were you going to time-out.
2. you get in the car for your hot weekend date and your pants are covered in snot residue.
3. you know all of the stuffed animals' names and you call them by their names even when the kids aren't around.
4. silence isn't always a good thing.
5. you've picked someone's nose for them.
6. your eyes are pried open at 5 am and you hear, "Are you awake?"
7. you go to work for a break.
8. "take a shower" is on your to-do list.
9. when you do take a shower, it's like an Olympic sport: you leap over things to get in, you have fans calling your name, and you're pressured to finish in record time.
10. you realize that you can do just about anything with one hand.
11. you've spent time investigating the contents of a diaper and you're not doing forensic research for a crack team of investigators.
12. you're perfectly accustomed to discussing poop and you're not a 7-year-old.
13. it takes longer to get the kids into the car than it does to run the actual errand.
14. "Christmas excitement" has a whole new meaning.
15. when something is missing, you immediately check all locations under 1.5 feet in height.
16. you walk toward the laundry room feeling confident because you finished it all yesterday...just to open the door and find 9 more loads waiting out of nowhere.
17. you have to stop yourself from saying fighted, eated, and breaked.

    

    eelassirak.blogspot.com

18. you talk finances and you next 4 paychecks are spoken for.
19. you find legos in your bed.
20. when selecting furniture, you pick the one that will endure an apocalypse.
21. you surrender the remote control during the NFL draft.
22. you've never prayed for anything else more than you prayed for a full night's sleep.
23. you realize that your child has left the room and you've just been sitting there watching Sesame Street alone for the last 15 minutes.
24. you're in bed with your eyes closed and you've fought too hard for this that you're not opening your eyes, even if it means letting someone walk on your rib cage, step on your head, pluck your hair out, and block your airways.
25. on that note, you don't find it the least bit unusual to wake up with a foot in your face or a bum on your head.
26. you only have time to shave one leg.
27. you can't remember eating a meal when it was still hot.
28. going to the bathroom without interruption is the best alone time you could ask for.
29. you need a vacation after your family vacation.
30. going to the grocery store alone is a vacation.
31. you take lip from a 2 1/2 foot little dictator.
32. you've swatted blindly into the back of a car, hoping to connect with a kid.

    

    wearerandalls.com

33. "I'm NOT going to ask you again!" ...That's not true. Yes, I will. Probably 50 more times.
34. First child eats dirt: you call the doctor --- Second child eats dirt: you scrape it out of his mouth --- Third child eats dirt: you wonder if you need to feed her lunch.
35. your slipper is taken off and shoved into your face while you (continue to) have breakfast.
36. losing a favorite stuffy is a nightmare. I apologize, bad choice of words. Losing a favorite stuffy is a nuclear holocaust.
37. you know that anyone who cheerfully says "I slept like a baby" probably doesn't have one...
38. ...the same applies to those who say "that was as easy as taking candy from a baby!"
39. you know that children who go to bed early, get up early...and children who go to bed late, get up early!
40. you know that without your children, your house would be clean, your wallet would be full, but your heart would be empty.

Special thanks to:
Robyn Bailey Uhlstein
Bethany Teeples
Kjerstin Evans Ballard
Steven Davies
Brittani Dalton Martin
Carlota Hansen
Jon Pulsipher
Icie Graff
ScaryMommy
NetMums
YouKnowYou'reAParentWhen
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Um...that's personal.

A friend of mine was going to be induced (she was going to have labor artificially started so that she could have her baby). On Facebook, she asked if anyone had any advice on how adequately prepare. Many tips came soaring in. However, one or two people decided to use the comment space to go off on a tangent about how she shouldn't get induced because of    x    and    y   .

She very politely replied that the induction was necessary and that she had her reasons for doing it.

She shouldn't have had to say that. She didn't ask anyone how they felt about inductions in general. She only asked for preparation advice. Why she went that route was (and still is) no one's business but her's, her husband's, and whoever they decide to tell.

Yet, too many times, when we see an opportunity to make an assumption or insert an opinion that was never asked for in the first place, we seem to feel compelled to do it.

I've found myself caught in that many-a-time. I'm working on it. I'm a lot better than I used to be, but still...it ain't easy.

When we were little, the "rules" about what you could talk about were basically "there's nothing off limits." I mean, really...when you're a kid, there generally isn't much in the realm of "too personal to talk about." But as adults, things change and there really are some things that one should bring up with caution...if one brings it up at all. 

That's really hard to remember if the person is a family member or close friend, but the rules still apply; as we develop our individual lives, interests, careers, and especially committed relationships and families, there really are things that become at least semi-off-limits. For the most part, this post focuses on some of those things within the family setting.

Here are a few things that in general, really aren't anyone's business:

and perhaps the most important:

It's not that you can't ever know about any of this stuff. I've taken part in conversations with many of these topics as their themes. It's okay to have personal conversations every once in a while. But it is always important to remember a few things:

1. On one hand, not everything on the above list is considered "personal" to everyone. On the other hand, some people may consider the list to be the Mecca of "never go there with me." It's wise to know where the line of respect is depending on who you're talking to.
2. The answer to "May I ask you a personal question?" may be "no." Regardless of who you are in relation to whom you're asking, that needs to be okay with you. The answer may be "yes" until the question is asked and then the answer may become "Sorry, that one's a little too personal." That needs to be okay as well.
3. Unless the person has specifically said that he/she would like your opinion/advice/ideas, it's not your place to give any. Ever. Being told something is not unwritten permission to give your opinion on the matter. 

That being said, here is a list of

Things that are totally okay for you to know, but not okay to criticize:

What things did I miss? What do you feel is no one's business to ask about or criticize?